Chaos and Oxygen

We have been doing a lot of cheering for Auburn!

Long time gone around here, still alive though, promises. Turns out things like uh, buying a house and moving into said house, trying to keep breathing and working insane hours put blogging into the back seat.

Long story short, riding has been iffy. My allergies decided to actually attempt to kill me this year and two inhalers later and a few doctor appointments, I think I’m finally at a point where maintaining O2 sats isn’t questionable. I took a week off of everything – work, riding, all of it, to move into the new house. Helpful, but it’s still 75% chaos and I need another 3 days in the week to get it all done. It’s getting there though! Mostly unpacked (minus my office hahahhahah don’t open that door), fence for Finn the Dog goes in this weekend, and things are locateable for the most part.

Inspired by a handful of other bloggers, I joined a local CrossFit gym that I love. I’ve been going consistently and having a blast right up until my lungs revolted. Per doctor’s orders I’m not allowed back until we get my breathing situation figured out, which I would protest, but like… air. I like it.

We did a CT/Derby two weeks (I think?) ago at a local farm to get out for the first time this season. We had our best dressage test we’ve had, by far (although the score was about where we averaged last season), but the wheels fell off on the jumping. I couldn’t stop riding backwards to ev-er-ey-thing. Pull, pull, pull, pull, pull. Everything felt like I was being run off with (I wasn’t), I never found a good rhythm, I couldn’t see a distance to save my life. Doc about had it with me and we had three stops on course, all my fault. It was… ugly.

We had a lesson two days later and I got on ready to just quit riding. There was more than a little bit of self-hate going on and in the span of 48 hours I’d basically convinced myself I was horrible at this, my horse didn’t deserve this and I should just quit now.

Because I’m never dramatic at all.

My trainer saw my face and said, “nope, no lesson” and took me out on the track where we just hacked out for an hour. Which ended up being pretty much exactly what I needed… along with a drink or two, a crying session and some motivational sports psychology reading.

We had our best dressage lesson last Monday and we’re entered to go to our first full HT of the season this weekend. Things seem to be finally settling down and getting back into a semi-groove. Here’s to hoping I can catch my breath (figuratively and literally) soon.

Related Posts

8 Comments

  1. Congrats on the new house!!! Moving is the pits but once done is very much worth it. Sorry about the less than ideal jump round. Pulling and thinking I’m being run off with when we are barely moving is my specialty. HA!

  2. Well Congrats again on the new house! As for the riding part, I think we all go through phases where it just… isn’t… working. Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Just remember that 12 yr old you would just be SUPER EXCITED to get to go to the barn and pet pony noses.

    Buuuuuut a certain yellow mare is always available to you, if you want to ride something that is just going to ignore anything she disagrees with. 😉

  3. Welcome back I missed you!! congrats on new house and on still breathing 🙂 Please take care of yourself. And we all have bad times riding! Doc is still so cute with that blaze over those fences….

  4. Congrats on the new home! Very exciting and stressful all at once!
    Sorry about the allergies. Mine have been terrible too, but not that terrible fortunately. Thank goodness for inhalers and claritin!
    Sorry too that the HT didn’t go how you’d hoped. That’s riding I guess. It loves to makes us feel worthless and awful, but I promise, keep at it, it will get better again! And when it does, you’ll find yourself three steps ahead of where you left off.

  5. Congrats on buying the house and the awesome dressage test. I’m glad your trainer was able to see what you needed on lesson day and could coach you through the mental barrage you were giving yourself. We are our own harshest critics.

  6. nice to hear an update! sounds like life has been busy but mostly pretty awesome for you lately!! wishing you luck and FUN at your upcoming HT 😀

  7. Congrats on buying your house! I’m in the same boat lately with life + blogging, so it’s good to see an update! Hope your lung situation fixes itself so you can continue to inhale air. I also hope you get back to CF soon- I try to go 5-x/week and just LOVE it

  8. Breathing is very important, glad that is getting worked out!! Also – yay house!! Congrats 🙂

    We moved in May and honestly my office is a pit of despair…everything ends up there.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *